SORROW - An
Emotional Root of Illness
Fear, anger and
sorrow are powerful emotions that can cause damage to our health if
not dealt with. In past articles on
anger we looked at the emotions
of fear and anger. We learned that the root of fear stems from
abandonment – abandonment by parents or significant others in our
lives. Unresolved fear then leads to anger, which stems from the
belief that something is wrong with us – otherwise why would we have
been abandoned by those important to us? Fear and anger then lead
to the third damaging emotion – sorrow.
Sorrow is our third root emotion. It
is a common emotion that impacts many areas of our lives. Webster
defines sorrow as “distress caused by loss, affliction, and
disappointment or misfortune. Grief, sadness or regret.” For our
purposes, we will define sorrow as a lack of sweetness.
A person operating in sorrow has
certain behavior patterns that include:
~ A tendency to wish things were
different than they are
A “Why me” or “if only” syndrome
Having an answer for everybody else
but not themselves
Being easily moved to tears or
in causes, constant volunteering
As fear represents our separation
from God and anger represents our separation from self, sorrow
represents our separation from others.
The Origin of Sorrow
Sorrow comes from our
interactions with other people. When others do not measure up, when
needs are unmet, or there is a “lack of sweetness” in a
relationship, sorrow will occur. Sorrow tells us that nothing will
work out with other people. Sorrow sets the stage to expect hurt,
rejection and loneliness.
Can you see how a person who has been
abandoned, shamed (cursed) is ready ground to be sorrowful? These
roots lead to each other and interweave with each other.
Rejection - Spiritual Root of Sorrow
The spiritual root of
sorrow is rejection. When a person has experienced abandonment and
feels shame at who they are, they expect others to reject them. The
question is not IF there will be rejection, but WHEN will rejection
A person walking in sorrow will often
self-sabotage his best efforts. He will subconsciously set himself
up to be rejected through his behavior, language or thoughts. And
if someone doesn’t reject him, he will often reject others and walk
away before they can reject him.
The weight of grief and
sorrow affects ENERGY. It is hard to get around. It is hard to get
motivated. It takes all your energy just to survive and get through
Listen to how heavy the effect of
sorrow is - David in Psalm 6:6-7:
I am worn out from groaning. All
night long I flood my bed with weeping, and drench my couch with
tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow. They fail because of all my
Sorrow drains energy.
When sweetness is missing, people
turn to addictions and addictive behavior to try to fill the hole
designed to be filled by healthy substances, activities and habits.
A rejected person will often seek out
nurturing in food, alcohol, drugs or other stimulants - anything to
dull the pain of living.
Drugs give them the energy to keep on
going. Carb boosts and energy drinks high in sugar and caffeine
spike up their energy. This is something that many people are
dealing with these days - notice all the energy drinks at the check
out counters. Easy to buy, drink and have energy – for a little
while at least!
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